It’s the only way it’s the only way I’ve known from all my life. The only thing I focused on all my life. I never thought of ending it this early, but the last things have to be done that you don’t think whatever you need to be done.

It sounds like you're expressing deep feelings about your life experiences and perhaps feeling overwhelmed. If you're comfortable, I'm here to listen and help you sort through those thoughts. It's important to talk about what you're feeling, and there are people who care and want to support you. Please remember, you're not alone in this.