GIVE ME ROASTS

Sure, here are some light-hearted roasts for you:

"I'd explain it to you, but I left my English-to-Dingbat dictionary at home."
"You're like a software update. Whenever I see you, I think, 'Not now.'"
"If you were any more basic, you’d be a default setting."
"You bring everyone so much joy—when you leave the room."
"You're proof that even evolution makes mistakes."
"I'd call you a tool, but that implies you're actually useful."
"You're like a cloud. When you disappear, it's a beautiful day."
"You have the perfect face for radio and the perfect voice for silent films."
"I'd agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong."
"You're the reason God created the middle finger."

Remember, roasts are meant to be fun, so make sure the person you're roasting has a good sense of humor!