It looks like you're trying to create a bookmarklet that loads an external JavaScript file and you're requesting help with it for use with Tampermonkey. The code you provided is actually a valid bookmarklet. However, to run it as a script in Tampermonkey, you need to make some adjustments.
Below is a revised version suitable for use with Tampermonkey:
```javascript
// ==UserScript==
// @name Load External Script
// @namespace


