5 funny one liners simple but less used in everyday convo?

Sure! Here are five funny one-liners that aren't commonly used in everyday conversation: 1. "I'm on a whiskey diet—I’ve lost three days already!" 2. "I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me beach wallpapers." 3. "I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands like everyone else." 4. "I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it." 5. "I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia. She whispered, ‘They're right behind you.’" Hope these bring a smile!